This blog post is very personnal, and may be a sensitive subject for certain people.
You are fat and ugly.
No man will ever want to be seen with a obese person like you.
When I look at you, I can assure that no man will ever get hard seeing you.
Those words. Those fucking comments hit me like a ton of brick yesterday.
I’m used to see haters comment on my look, my style or how plus size bloggers or influencers are only encouraging obesity. Those comments usually pass right by me and I don’t lift a finger because I know who I am. I know what I’m worth. I know we are not glorifying obesity, we are only showing other people (and young girls) that it’s now possible to look and feel good, being who we are.
I have always been a hopeless romantic. A fat, beautiful, smart, happy and stylish hopeless romantic. All I ever wanted was to love and be loved by a special someone. I remember when I was young, walking to grade school, thinking about my crush, and telling myself that it doesn’t matter if people think I am worthless now cause I’m a fat kid, because when I grow up I will lose weight and I will finally be worthy of having a boyfriend. And that thought followed me as a teenager, and become my motivation as a young adult. A superficial message the society keeps telling us that I hung unto as a child, that slimmer equals happier.
Well this is bullshit. I tried. I really tried to lose weight you know.. I lost some, and gain more. Being on a diet all your life is not a way to live. Counting every god-damn carb that goes in your body cannot be a long-term plan. At least, not for me. And if you look at the percentage of overweight people, I can tell you that most of us tried a couple diets, shakes, or pills. We bought several magazines because they claim on their frontpage to share the latest Celebrity way to get their perfect beach body. We tried. Fuck, did we try..
And when you hit 30 years old, 32, 35.. and you realize that you tried everything, and you are still uncomfortable in your own skin. You are tired of trying, especially when you read that it’s harder and harder to lose weight when you grow older. I am tired. Tired of counting carbs, tired of the pressure to look a certain way, tired of justifying why I’m still fat when I’m on diet, tired of defending myself from mean comments of strangers, from thoughts I had since I’ve been a kid that fat people do not deserve to be on the front row, does not deserve to have a great love life, does not deserve to be happy. I am so, SO TIRED.
If you read my posts, you know how I did put myself out there. I am cute, I have a great look, I have a great personality, I have a good job, I have something to say.. I don’t understand why I still haven’t found the man of my life. You read about my unsuccessful date stories, you see what kind of dude I normally attract.
But still, as a hopeless romantic, I believe that I will find my guy somewhere. That I don’t have to lower my standards just to be with someone. My friends and family tell me the same thing, that one day I will find someone who will love me for who I am, and I will love him for who he is.
But when I read disgusted comments like I’ve read this week, it does play with my mind. Am I really that repulsive? Maybe that’s why I’m still single today. Maybe my fat body is really gross and no man will ever look at me seriously. Maybe the lowest, outrageous kind of girlfried a guy could have, IS a fat one. And maybe he will constantly be ashamed of me. Maybe he will have to justify to his friend that I’m fat, “but she F**ks like a pornstar”… because we all know fat girls have no feelings or respect, and we spread our legs every damn time a guy asks us to, because otherwise we would die virgins.. So I should thank guys who are willing to sleep with me, and be grateful to have ANY kind of boyfriend.
WELL YOU ARE FREAKIN’ LUCKY THAT I’M STRONGER THAN THE VOICES AND THE STORIES PLAYING IN MY MIND.
I’m not gonna do something stupid about it. I am surrounded by amazing friends and a wonderful family. But for a moment, just think how a young girl would feel. How someone who doesn’t have my support system would react to all this hate toward myself, and toward fat people in general.
If you remove all the body positivity campaigns, all the plus size blogs, fat activists, inclusive news article and all, the only way fat people are represented is negative.
We are not promoting obesity, we are trying to promote self love. AS. YOU. ARE.
Slim people are not the only ones who deserve happiness. Who has great jobs, ambition and an amazing life. We the-fat-people are part of the same society and we are tired of being push back all the time.
We do not have to be thankful to only exist, to stay quiet and let people abuse us verbally whenever they feel like it.
Society evolved with time. We know better than to laugh or point at other ethnicities, we do not mock people with disabilities, at people who are different EXCEPT for fat people. It’s still acceptable, yet encouraged by society to mock fat people for the sake of HEALTH.
I am a fashion blogger. I usually talk about lighter subjects, but it doesn’t mean that I’m shielded from it all.
Tonight, I am mad. Pissed at our society, who prefers throw rocks at BOPO bloggers and influencers instead of understanding that loving yourself is the first step to feeling better. Hitting someone who’s already laying on the ground will not help him up. It will only break his spirit, and encourage him to stay indoor, isolated.
And when you read shit like this, how do you explain to younger people that life gets better growing up?
When will the bullying stop?
Here’s the link to the Article that started it all (in French). It was a great, positive article though..