About 10-15 years ago, I would’ve never EVER shown myself in a bathing suit in public. In my early twenties, I was so self concious about how my body looked, that I deprived myself of all the little pleasures in life, like spending time at the beach, or by the pool when other people were around.
I was so used to hide my body that I couldn’t even see the fun aspect of many activities involving swimwear. I had a scenario in my head that people would look at me with a disgusted face, point at me and laugh.. That I was too fat to be considered pretty. That the source of all my problem was my weight.
I used to think that if I lose weight, I would be beautiful, meaning that guys would like me, leading to “I will finally be happy.”
I spent a great amount of time on diets that I had a hard time to stick to, a lot of money on gym memberships that I went twice, on New Year’s resolutions, on birthday wishes to become slim… and yeah, you guessed it: I was still fat (and I still am!)
Somehow, between the person I was at that time and the person I am today, something changed drastically. I learned about self acceptance, and how to really appreciate who I am. This will explain how I got to where I am today, by applying little changes in my everyday life.
Talk to someone in your situation
First, I met someone full figured like me who became my best friend, and made me realize that I was not alone in this situation. Of course, when you are the only plus size person in your family or group of friends, you are surrounded by people who want the best for you but who are not in your shoes. They don’t understand the struggle you live with everyday.
I discovered how wonderful it was to finally have someone who knows what I was going through. To share your experience with someone who knows exactly what it’s like, was something I never got to do before. As I said, I have a wondeful family but they didn’t get it like my friend did.
If knowing one person like me can make me feel so much better, imagine what it would be like to know a whole bunch!
Surround yourself with positive models
In this case, I started to read plus size fashion blogs (Curvy Canadian, GabiFresh, Girl with curves, The Curvy Fashionista, Wait Until the Sunset…). I saw so many plus size ladies looking fabulous! They showed me clothing brands I didn’t know about, stores all over the world (which led to making me comfortable with online shopping).. My perception of my body changed: I was able to wear clothes I actually liked and felt good in them. My best friend and I talked about the latest blog posts we read, showed us what we bought and little by little, it changed us. We depreciate ourselves less, and gain more confidence.
In a world when we compare ourselves all the time, I decided not to compare myself, but to inspire myself with gorgeous and positive models.
My favorites inspirations at the moment?
- Duchelle, for being blunt and funny, for inspiring the youth, for her singing talent and her positive vibe.
- Mustang Sally Two, for her sense of style, her amazing pictures and this girl is so sweet!
- Essie Golden, for showcasing amazing pictures of different body types and making them shine!
- Dix Octobre, for her personnal stories and opinions on her blog, and her body positive aspect in everything she does.
- Plus size backpacker, for travelling all over the world and sharing her experiences.
- Zach Miko, for being an absolute gentleman, funny and most handsome brawn model that ever existed in the wooooooooorld.
Don’t be shy to show up at Body Positive events
Join BoPo groups on social medias. Facebook has a lot of them. Women in these self acceptance groups are really fun, and they are looking for people to go party with, or have dinner somewhere, or just a great Get-Together is something that I always look up to.
If you have the budget, The CurvyCon is one of the best plus size event I know. I went last year, and OH MY… This is everything. It takes place in New York City during Fashion Week(yasss!! this is THE place to be!), the event is buzzing with bloggers, influencers, brands, models, celebrities.. The schedule included brunch, fitness session (adapted for every body), fashion shows, panels, parties.. And the best part is, you don’t have to know people to be there. Attendees are friendly and open, and it’s really easy to make friends and talk to people when we all have a little something in common!
This year, I will reunite with my roommate from last year (Sharita from Anchorage, Alaska), and we will meet two other ladies from the USA to share our room with. Like last year, I will share EVERYTHING on social media again, so be sure to follow me on Instagram to get all the details!
When you look at so many confident, body positive people on social media, it becomes your everyday life. You do not focus on fat ladies in bathing suits anymore, you do not cringe on your cellulite as much as you did before. It’s not something that you have to work on, it’s something that will become natural little by little.
Self acceptance comes with loving yourself. Simple as that. It’s so easy to see the beauty in others, why do we make it so hard to see it in ourselves?
I really hope that this blog post can help people. If you know anyone (especially children and teen) who have trouble with their perception of themselves, don’t be shy to share this post. I’m always available if you have any questions about my journey to self acceptance and how I have the confidence I have today.
My friend Isabelle (shown in the pictures) is also sharing her personal journey on self acceptance HERE. Our past and journeys may be very different, but our goals remain the same: to feel good and beautiful, no matter what.